Home   Contact link Contact: bill@dughaille.info Main jokes page  

Men and Women Jokes

"I Love You, Sweetheart"
There was a group of women at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband. The women were asked, 'How many of you love your husbands?' All the women raised their hands.
Then they were asked, 'When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?'
Some women answered today, some yesterday, some didn't remember. The women were then told to take their phones and send the following text:
'I love you, sweetheart'. Then the women were told to exchange phones and read the responding text messages. Here are some of the replies.
1. Who is this?
2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick?
3. I love you too.
4. What now? Did you crash the car again?
5. I don't understand what you mean?
6. What did you do now? I won't forgive you this time.
7. ?!?
8. Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?
9. Am I dreaming?
10. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
11. I asked you not to drink anymore. I'll leave if you are tired of me.
12. Whatever you want the answer is no!

2 AM Police Stop
An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at that time of night.
The man replies, "I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."
The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"
The man replies, "That would be my wife."

A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K
After being married for thirty years....a wife asked her husband to describe her.
He looked at her slowly...then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."
She asked, "What does that mean?"
He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot."
She smiled happily and said...."Oh, that's so lovely.....What about I, J, K?"
He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"
His eye is still swollen ... but it will get better ...

Ageism
Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word. His buddies at the club are all aghast.
At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, 'Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?'
Bob replies, 'Girlfriend? She's my wife!'
They are knocked over, but continue to ask, 'So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?'
'I lied about my age', Bob replies.
'What, did you tell her you were only 50?'
Bob smiles and says, 'No, I told her I was 90.'

Applause
There were 11 people hanging onto a rope that came down from a helicopter: ten men and one woman.
The rope was starting to fray so they all agreed that one person should let go because if they didn't, the rope would break and everyone would die.
No one could decide who should go so finally the woman gave a really touching speech, saying how she would give up her life to save theirs, because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children, giving in to men, and that after all, men were the superior sex and must be saved.
When she finished speaking, all the men clapped.
Never underestimate the power of a woman.

Cars
A couple had been debating buying a vehicle for weeks. He wanted a truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town.
He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.
"Look!" she said "I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in just a few seconds. Nothing else will do. My birthday is coming up so surprise me!"
He did just that.
For her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.

Charity begins at home
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of quid for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten punds and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on greens' fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.
"Are you NUTS?" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf for 20 years!"
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.
"What disease would I get for ten pounds?" exclaimed the homeless man.
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf and sex."

Completely Finished
How to explain the difference between "complete" and "finished" in a way that is easy to understand. Some people say there is no difference between "complete" and "finished".
When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE.
And when you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED.
And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!

Counting Feet
A man gets home late from the bar one night. Noticing that his wife is already asleep, he crawls in beside her.
He looks down at the bottom of the bed, and begins to count: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. He elbows his wife and says:
"Hey there are 6 feet in this bed!"
She answers him in a groggy voice, "Oh go to sleep, you're drunk - there are only four!"
The man lies down and tries to sleep, but it weighs on his mind. He sits up and counts again: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.
He elbows his wife awake again, and says: "There really are 6 feet in this bed!".
She says to him: "Well, if you're so dang sure, why don't you get out of bed and count them."
So he goes to the bottom of the bed and starts counting:
1 2 3.4. He says: "Hey, you're right there are only four!"

Discussion Technique
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Don't Answer
A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humour!'

Female v Male Logic
FEMALE LOGIC
Woman:
Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes.
Woman:
How many beers a day?
Man:
Usually about 3.
Woman:
How much do you pay per beer?
Man: $5.00 which includes a tip.
(This is where it gets scary!)
Woman:
And how long have you been drinking?
Man:
About 20 years, I suppose.
Woman:
So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each
month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 …correct?
Man:
Correct.
Woman:
If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past
20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?
Man:
Correct.
Woman:
Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer, that money could have
been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting
for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a
Ferrari?
MALE LOGIC
Man:
Do you drink beer?
Woman:
No.
Man:
Where's your Ferrari?

Five Horses
A man asked a native American what was his wife's name.
He replied, "She called Five Horses".
The man said, "That's an unusual name for your wife.
What does it mean?"
The Old Indian answered,
"It old Indian Name. It mean...
Nag, nag, nag, nag, nag!

Five tips for a woman...
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.

Flight
One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another woman.
She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor apartment, killing him instantly.
Brought before the court, on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say in her defence.
'Your Honour,' she began coolly, 'I figured that at 92, if he could screw, he could fly.'

Flying High
While taxiing at London Gatwick, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming:
"US Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C's, and D's, but get it right!"
Continuing her tirade to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically:
"God, you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?"
"Yes ma'am" the humbled crew responded.
Naturally the ground control frequency went terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to engage the irate ground controller in her current state. Tension in every cockpit at LGA was running high.
Then an unknown pilot broke the silence and asked:
"Wasn't I married to you once?"

Food for Thought
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa.
'The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realises the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?'
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old Man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said,
'Wedding Cake.'

Fortunate
A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, no matter who left you a fortune!'

Frog
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten.
The woman said, "That's okay." and for her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realise that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to. "
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM! she's the most beautiful woman in the world.
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you. The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine.
So, KAZAM! she's the richest woman in the world. The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention all female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
Attention all male readers: Please scroll down.
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.
Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart. Let them continue to think that way. It's easier!
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this, it only goes to show that you women never listen!

Gender Assignments
A woman walked into the kitchen and found her husband walking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting flies," he responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" she asked.
"Yep, three males, two females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked, "How can you tell?"
He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."

General Equations & Statistics
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Goats
Groups of USA citizens were travelling by tour bus through the Netherlands.
As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through
the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used.
She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing.
'These' she explained, 'Are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce.'
She then asked, 'What do you do in the USA with your old goats?'
A spry old gentleman answered, 'They send us on bus tours!

Happiness
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

How Do You Decide Who To Marry? (written by kids)
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. -- Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. -- Kristen, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. -- Camille, age 10
No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married. -- Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. -- Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids. -- Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. -- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. -- Martin, age 10
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. -- Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich. -- Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that - - Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. -- Howard, age 8
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out. -- Theodore, age 8
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. -- Anita, age 9
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? -- Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 Favourite is........
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a bus. -- Ricky, age 10

How To Stop People From Bugging You About Getting Married
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Husband Centre
Recently a "Husband Shopping Centre" opened in Dallas, where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended. There was only one rule - once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor, or move up one floor. If you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return.
A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping centre to find some husbands.........
First floor
The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids". The women read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job, or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they went.
Second floor
The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking." "Hmmm", said the ladies. But, wonder what's further up?
Third floor
This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework." "Wow!" said the women'. very tempting, BUT, there's more further up! And up they went.
Fourth floor
This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak." "Oh, mercy me. But just think! what must be awaiting us further on!"
So up to the fifth floor they went.
Fifth floor
The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are impossible to please.

Husbands are husbands
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.
'What was that for?' the man asked.
The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'..
The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on'
The wife apologized and went on with the housework..
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied,
'Your horse phoned'

Longevity
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

Marriage Humour
Wife: 'What are you doing?'
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband: 'I was looking for the expiry date.'

Mealtime
Wife: 'Do you want dinner?'
Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife: 'Yes or no.'

Nude
Husband says to wife: 'It's far too hot to wear clothes today, I think I'll mow the lawn in the nude. What do you think the neighbours will say?'
Wife: 'That I married you for your money.'

Pancakes
Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.
With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel Appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.
After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, 'Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.'
The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a Large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.
'Gee, Mom,' he exclaimed. 'For me?'
'Just take two,' Brenda replied. 'The rest are for your father.'

Prenatal
The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands.
The woman in charge said, "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier.
Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay on a soft surface like grass or a path."
"Gentlemen, remember -- you're in this together. It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her.
In fact, that shared experience would be good for you both."
The room suddenly became very quiet as the men absorbed this information.
After a few moments a man at the back of the room, slowly raised his hand.
"Yes?" said the Instructor.
"I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"

Propensity To Change
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

Remarriage
Wife: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?
Husband: Definitely not!
Wife: Why not - don't you like being married?
Husband: Of course I do.
Wife: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
Husband: Okay, I'd get married again.
Wife: You would? (With a hurtful look on her face).
Husband: (Makes audible groan).
Wife: Would you live in our house?
Husband: Sure, it's a great house.
Wife: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
Husband: Where else would we sleep?
Wife: Would you let her drive my car?
Husband: Probably, it is almost new.
Wife: Would you replace my pictures with hers?
Husband: That would seem like the proper thing to do.
Wife: Would she use my golf clubs?
Husband: No, she's left-handed.
Wife: - silence - -
Husband: Damn ....

Romance
A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant.
They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands.
The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed the man slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned.
The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table.
Still, the woman appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware her dining companion had disappeared.
The waitress, thinking this was a bit risqué behaviour that might offend other diners, went over to the table and tactfully, began by saying to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."
The woman calmly looked up at her and said, "No, he didn't. He's just walked in the door.

Shopping Math
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

Stress Reliever
Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'
Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'
Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'

Survey
Women were asked in a survey how they felt about their fat arses.
1% said they were happy.
1% said they were resigned.
98% said they wished they'd never married them in the first place.

The Cow
The only cow in a small town in Ireland stopped giving milk. The town folk found they could buy a cow in Scotland quite cheaply and brought a cow from Scotland. It produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy.
They bought a bull to mate with the cow, so that they'd never have to worry about milk again. They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he was never able to do the deed.
The people were very upset and decided to go to the wise old Vet and ask his advice. "Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. If he attempts from the one side, she walks away to the other side."
The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this before asking, "Did you, by any chance, buy this cow in Scotland?"
The people were dumbfounded; since no one had ever mentioned that they had brought the cow over from Scotland.
"You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow from Scotland?"
The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye, "My wife is from Scotland."

The Little Woman
Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman."
"Oh yeah?" said Charlie , "And how did this one end?"
"When it was over," Mike replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees."
"Really," said Charles, "Now that's a switch! What did she say?"
She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken."

The Mistress
A new sense of perspective:
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives her husband a big kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away.
The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that?"
"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."
"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce!"
"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Merc and Lexus in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous lady on his arm.
"Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife.
"That's his mistress," says her husband.
"Ours is prettier," she replies.

The Mystic
In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered grave news.
"There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."
Visibly shaken, Laura stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands.
She took a few deep breaths to compose herself and to stop her mind racing.
She simply had to know.
She met the Fortune Teller's gaze, steadied her voice and asked, "Will I be acquitted?"
For some reason, wives tend to like this joke.

The Pharmacist
This gal walks into the drugstore and tells the pharmacist she wants to buy some arsenic.
He says, "What do you want with arsenic?"
She said "I want to kill my husband because he cheats on me by having sex with another woman."
The pharmacist says, "I can't sell you arsenic so you can kill your husband lady, even if he is having sex with another woman."
So she reaches into her pocket and pulls out a picture of her husband having sex with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist says "Oh, I didn't realise you had a prescription."

The way women are
Husband's Message (by cellphone):
Honey, a car has hit me out of the office. Paula brought me to the Hospital.
They have been making tests and taking X-rays
The blow to my head has been very strong, fortunately it seems that did not cause any serious injury, but I have three broken ribs, a compound fracture in the left leg, and they may have to amputate the right foot.
Wife's Response:
Who is Paula?

The Wife
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service,and she's in tears.
"So what's bothering you, Mary, my dear?" asks the priest.
"Oh, Father," says Mary, "I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."
"Oh, Mary, that's terrible," says Father O'Grady. "Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"
"That he did, Father," she replied.
"What did he ask, Mary?"
"He said, 'Please Mary, put down that gun...'"

Thoughts
Her Side of the Story:
He was in an odd mood Saturday night. We planned to meet at a bar for a drink. I spent the afternoon shopping with the girls and I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit later than I promised, but he didn't say anything much about it.
The conversation was very slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I tried to cheer him up and started to wonder whether it was me or something else. I asked him, and he said no. But I wasn't really sure.
So anyway, in the car on the way back home, I said that I loved him deeply and he just put his arm around me. I didn't know what the hell that meant because you know he didn't say it back or anything.
We finally got back home and I was wondering if he was going to leave me! So I tried to get him to talk but he just switched on the T.V. Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to bed. Then after about 10 minutes, he joined me and to my surprise, we made love. But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to confront him but I just cried myself to sleep. I just don't know what to do anymore. I mean, I really think he's seeing someone else.
His Side of the Story:
England lost. Got laid though.

Women are allowed 16 husbands.
4 richer
4 poorer
4 better
&
4 worse.